Wednesday, November 14, 2012

VI

Samish Way, as he put it, was “infested” with crackheads and prostitutes and drug dealers. So of course it made perfect sense to go there in the middle of the night. Not fully knowing what I was getting myself into, I followed him on the long walk up to Samish Way. He barely could stop telling me how horrible it was the entire way to the McDonalds, and of course, when we got to the restaurant, the lobby was closed for another hour. We waited outside on the benches until it opened, where we bought food. There was no place to plug in a laptop charger, so we just sat there for a while. One of the “perks” of looking homeless is that everyone treats you like a criminal. The manager on duty at the time came up to us after a couple hours and asked us to leave unless we were going to buy more food. Theo got angry and didn’t want to put up with the manager, so after a heated argument, we left.

On the way down I couldn’t get him to shut up about how cruel and heartless the manager was. And as if that wasn’t enough, he started to get angry at me for not wearing my sunglasses! The sun was barely up and I couldn’t see, so I told him I wouldn’t wear them. That was probably one of the biggest mistakes I’d ever made, because he switched his rage from ranting at the manager to tearing me apart for my infidelity. My tears that stemmed from his outburst only made it worse. He claimed I was trying to get someone’s attention and that I was trying to get him arrested. When we finally made it back to our tent, all I wanted to do was sleep. With that intent, I crawled into my sleeping bag and closed my eyes, but Theo had other plans.

He still wasn’t done with me yet, and as payback for my insubordination, he demanded that I jerk him off or give him oral. I started crying again because I was so tired (I’d been up for 24 hours straight). Theo’s anger spiked. I started feeling bizarre, and before I knew it, I felt the frightening sensation of losing control of my body. My leg felt like it was contorting and folding. My whole body was tense and in pain; I was tingling all over and couldn’t feel my leg from the knee down--all I felt was the contortion and pain. It passed after what seemed like eternity, but it wasn’t finished. Theo was telling me to calm down; I was making too much noise. I only had time to take a deep breath before another wave hit me. I was terrified I was having a seizure because I hadn’t had one for years. It was only after the third wave that he finally relented and hugged me. I was allowed to sleep.

         When I woke up, I had another episode, leaving my leg numb and tingly. Theo helped me out of the tent, finally convinced I wasn’t faking, and we walked over to Jack-in-the-Box where I called my mom to tell her good morning. I also told her the story of  what had transpired (leaving out Samish Way so she wouldn’t worry), but Theo overheard our conversation and was worried I was making him out to be less of a man than he was, namely by making it sound like he wasn’t protecting me. He did a good enough job by himself. My mom let me know, as she always did, that their doors remained open to me. The possibility of going home wasn’t looking so bad, and I began to think seriously about it.

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