Thursday, April 30, 2015

XXVII

Yesterday I pulled up my Facebook page to see something unexpected: a friend request from one of Theo's friends, Brian Thomas. I was startled at first, but I knew it couldn't be a coincidence. I'd given Brian's name to the police and provided them with his profile, which I'd blocked some years ago, on Facebook. Brian's new profile had no pictures whatsoever, so I couldn't necessarily confirm that it was Brian himself and not potentially Theo trying to get in touch with me, even after all these years.

Brian Thomas has tried to contact me in the past: to relay Theo's messages to me, and after I told him that Theo had raped and abused me. He found me on Twitter, months later, and reached out to see if I wanted to talk, assuring me that he wasn't friends with Theo, but I've grown up: I know better than to trust anyone connected with Theo. I blocked him on Twitter, and then ultimately ended up closing my account all together. I don't know what he wanted, and I don't really care.

The profile picture that's displayed on my profile includes me, my son Matthew, and my boyfriend of three years, Tanner Harris. It reflects how I'm currently living my life. I am happier than I've been in a while, and I've successfully completed not one, but two Associate's degrees. I graduate May 7th with a degree in Paralegal Studies and I'm just that much closer to pursuing my dream career as a paralegal in the District Attorney's office: or any criminal prosecutor's office, for that matter. Tanner is close to completing his degree in General Studies and we're discussing the near possibility of getting married. Matthew is almost two-and-a-half years old. I may not ever fully heal from what Theo did to me, but I intend on using my experiences to positively impact other people's lives. I think the biggest change that's happened this year is that I'm no longer afraid of the "what-if's". Theo is, and always will be a colossal loser, a scumbag and criminal, and if I've learned anything this past month, the law will catch up with him. And while he runs from the inevitable, I'm moving on from my past. I'm not afraid of him, and on a daily basis, the thought of Theo doesn't cross my mind. I'm focusing on better things, and even if I do cross reminders of what happened, I know that not only my family is ready to hear what's going on, this blog is always open, always ready to hear the next installment in the journey I've made so far.

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